If You Need Me: The Ashford Legacy, Book 1 Read online

  “Thanks. I promise not to keep you up as late as I did last night. I know you’re on a deadline, and I don’t want to be any trouble.”

  She smiled at that, running her gaze from his head to his shoes. Yeah, he was trouble, all right.

  Kyle put the feather in his jeans pocket then linked his fingers through hers. “I’ll treasure it. I thought for a minute there, you might be trying to slip me a coin.”

  She was confused for a moment, then she remembered that if the events of the day had unfolded like normal, he would have rewarded her tonight for going outside to find a coin. Her clit gave a throb, thinking of that little piece of currency on the kitchen counter and what it could mean. “You jerk. Do you know how hard that one was?”

  “You did it?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “That’s amazing, Ray. Would it be patronizing if I told you how proud I was of you?” She saw the admiration in his eyes, and something darker, too, something that made her lick her dry lips and think of all the ways he could reward her.

  “Well, don’t be too proud. I almost gave up and fished a quarter from my wallet.”

  He made a mock gasp and squeezed her fingers tighter. “You would have lied to me?”

  “Hell yes.”

  He used his grip on her hand to pull her an inch closer. “Why?”

  Her lashes beat against her cheeks as she looked down, but then she swallowed and met his eyes. “Because I like to see you touch yourself.”

  “Do you?” His nostrils flared and his chest expanded like a predator scenting blood. “Is that all you like?”

  “No…” Her skin felt stretched thin and her nipples tightened. She knew that low, smoky tone. “I like to touch myself and imagine it’s your hand.”

  His stance shifted, like he was uncomfortable, but a glance below the belt told Rayna that if anything was making him uncomfortable, it was the rapidly growing erection pressing against the inside of his jeans. “I shouldn’t have come,” he said. “I’m an idiot. Trying to act all noble. I’m not noble, Ray. I want you so fucking bad.”

  If seeing the bulge in his pants wasn’t enough, his words sent a rush of moisture to her pussy. What she said next was going to change her life, because once she experienced Kyle in the flesh, she would never be able to go back. “I want you, too. It’s all I can think about.”

  “I didn’t come here to pressure you. I won’t be able to—” he blew out a breath from between clenched teeth, “—I won’t ever forgive myself for screwing this up if you run away from me.”

  She’d spent her adult life running scared, but she already knew by the fierce desire coursing through her body that she wasn’t going to be running tonight. Instead of answering him with words, she did something infinitely harder. She closed the space between them, rose to her tiptoes and kissed him.

  The smell of him, spicy soap and the hint of faded cologne, went straight to her head. His mouth was firm over hers when he returned the kiss, but his hands on her shoulders were gentle. He didn’t press too close, giving her space to put her hands between them and push him away if she chose. But she didn’t want to push him away tonight.

  His lips teased the corner of her mouth. “God, Rayna, you taste so good. Nothing I imagined can live up to it.”

  She had no control over her hands when they clenched his upper arms through his sweater then trailed down to clasp his bottom. Oh shit. His ass was so firm she swore his cheeks were chiseled from pure muscle. She gasped, just a small breathy sound when an image flitted across her mind—an image of that ass, clenching, thrusting, propelling him into her.

  At her small gasp, his hand tangled in her hair, tightening almost painfully. He kissed her roughly, his silky tongue pressing between her teeth to tangle with hers. It had been so long since she’d kissed a man like this. Well…she wasn’t sure if she’d ever kissed a man exactly like this. Kyle did something to her, melding the desires of her mind and body in a way that made her want to give herself to him completely, in any way he would have her.

  “I don’t want you to stay anywhere else tonight,” she repeated. “I want you here. With me. In me.”

  “Oh fuck.” He kissed her neck, drawing his tongue along the pulse in her throat. “I’m not going anywhere.” He took her hand and pressed it to his jeans over his cock. “I’m like a bull elk in rut. I think your name, I see your chat light on, my dick gets hard as rock. In you is the only location on this planet that’s gonna satisfy me.”

  She couldn’t help her giggle. “What do you know about bull elks?”

  “Hey, I watch Animal Planet. I can’t even do that these days without visions of mounting you.”

  She chuckled like he was teasing, but his eyes told a different story. “Sounds like a show I’d like to watch.”

  Without further coaxing, his hand slipped into the waistband of her sweats. He looked for the string tie, inspecting the ratty pants for the first time. “I’ve never seen these before.”

  She smiled and yanked the tie for him. “It’s my cleaning outfit. You came earlier than I expected.”

  “Heaven forbid I ever come earlier than you expect. I’ll hand in my man card and be done with it.”

  All thoughts of a reply fled when his long finger delved under her panties, straight into the folds of her swollen labia. They were engorged and so sensitive she could feel every detail of the pad of his finger over her slick skin.

  He kissed her hard, swallowing her moan as he twisted his hand, exploring her depths. When he pulled back, his eyelids were heavy. “You’re so fucking wet. Shit, Rayna. Is that how wet you get for me?”

  She tilted her pelvis, pressing harder against his hand as he leaned in to kiss the curl of her ear. “I’m always wet for you. You think when you see me is the only time I get off imagining you? I broke my favorite vibrator last week.”

  She felt his soft laughter as bursts of air against her cheek. “Yeah? Well, do your worst, Erotica Girl. You can’t break me.”

  When he added a second finger to the first, Rayna went weak in the knees and slumped against his solid chest.

  “You’re so tight,” he whispered against her ear, gently catching her earlobe between his teeth and giving it a nibble.

  Her chest made a small purr of delight, but she was slightly embarrassed by the wet sound of his fingers pumping into her. Did her dripping onto his hand reveal how long it’d been since she’d done anything but pleasure herself? Did she seem desperate for him? Because she was.

  His hard, jean-clad bulge ground against her hip. “Are you gonna hug my cock like that, with this tight pussy of yours?”

  She shivered. He knew how she liked him to talk—rough and a little dirty. It was hardly fair that he was touching her for the first time and yet already knew her well enough to breeze past her defenses. “I’m going to do anything you want me to do.”

  She whimpered when his hand left her, but then a second later the whimper was replaced by a yelp as he jerked her off her feet and into his arms. “If I remember correctly from the video feed, the bedroom is—” he pulled open the bathroom door, “—not in here.”

  “No one can fool you,” she murmured against his neck and followed with a string of soft kisses, wanting so badly to suck his skin into her mouth and bruise it—mark him as hers. Instead, she settled for trailing her teeth and tongue along one particularly delicious cord of muscle that ran down his throat.

  He tried another door, his fingertips digging into the flesh of her thighs where he held her. “Stop that. I’m trying to make it to a soft surface. I don’t want you getting rug burn on that perfect ass.”

  “Perfect? You haven’t even seen it yet.”

  He laid her out on her bed and immediately stripped off her grimy sweats and threadbare cotton panties. “You don’t think I see your ass when you get yourself off on camera? Think again. I see an image of it every time I close my eyes.”

  He took her knees in one hand and rolled her sideways on the mattress, as
sessing the profile of her lower half, then he ran his other hand over the curve of her ass, stopping to sink his fingers into her cheeks and squeeze, as though testing the resilience of her flesh. “Holy shit, woman. How do you not just sit around and squeeze your ass all day?”

  Kyle made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and that wasn’t a feeling she was used to. “How do you know I don’t?”

  “So sweet…” He trailed a finger over the cleft of her ass, and a tremor ran through her. “You write about a lot of things, don’t you? But I’m not sure what you’re really into…what you might want to try with me…”

  She hadn’t tried every single thing she wrote about—that was what research was for, after all—but at this moment she was hard-pressed to think of anything she wouldn’t do for Kyle. “Like what? Ménage?” Some of her bestsellers featured just that.

  “Ménage? Are you kidding me? You’re mine, and I’m not sharing you with anyone.”

  “I’m yours?” It gave her a primitive thrill to hear it, but he didn’t need to know that. “Since when?”

  “Don’t you remember? When I had pad Thai delivered to your door last week, you said I’d earned your undying devotion.” The finger that had been inside her a few minutes before now bopped the tip of her nose. “I’m holding you to it.”

  She chuckled. “Then what did you have in mind?”

  “Me?” He looked deeply into her eyes. “I want to make love to you, Rayna.”

  She leaned up to kiss his firm lips and his clean-shaven cheeks. “That sounds perfect.” He was perfect.

  When Kyle took command of the kiss, holding her by the shoulders and sweeping his tongue into her mouth, Rayna sighed against his lips. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been as happy in her whole life. Kyle was real and he was here. He was a friend and a confidant unlike any other. He read her work, thought she was smart. He seemed to truly like her as she was—metaphorical warts and all—even as he challenged her to overcome her fears and be something more.

  The logical side of her brain, the side that handled concepts such as self-preservation, tossed up bright red flags. There’s no such thing as perfect. Just wait for the other shoe to drop. But she didn’t need another warning about potential incompatibility. He lived on the other side of the country, for fuck’s sake.

  Kyle broke the kiss and laid her flat on her back. And when he ran his hands from her feet to her knees, then spread her legs apart, opening her to his view, Rayna stopped worrying about what could go wrong. She had other things to focus on now, like the way his gaze locked on to her pussy and how he licked his lips, ready to devour. Animalistic? Yes… But more like a hungry tiger mesmerizing her with his stare before he pounced.

  His thumb brushed her clit, sending a shiver through her as he leaned down and whispered against her thigh, “Can I taste you?”

  Chapter Six

  Rayna spent her days envisioning scenarios like this. In her mind, she’d been a wanton woman, pressing Kyle’s mouth to her sex. In reality, his breath against her parted thighs was so intimate it made her squirm. When Kyle’s tongue tickled the space between her thigh and her short, trimmed thatch of hair, she shifted just the tiniest bit away. He’d seen her on camera, but would he still think she was pretty up close and personal?

  “So this is me in high resolution,” she teased. At least that was the tone she was going for. “Am I what you expected?”

  She could feel in the hands he slid under her rump that he was trembling. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Ray. I knew you’d be soft and sweet. I had no idea that even your scent would drive me out of my mind. I need to taste you.”

  She wanted this. It wasn’t like she was going to let Kyle walk away tonight before she’d explored every inch of his body. So she had to do this. She had to give up control and push back her fear of not being good enough. In answer to his declaration, she let her thighs relax and her knees fall open.

  At the first lap of his moist tongue against her clit, she made a squeak like she’d stepped on a mouse. Oh holy shit. That was good.

  He lifted his head. “Are you okay?”

  She gripped the covers in her fists. “Uh-huh. Carry on.”

  His forearms ran under her thighs, his hands coming around to cup the flesh where her ass met her hips. With a growl, he pressed his face to her core. His tongue flattened over her clit, then slicked through her folds and back again.

  “Mmmm…” The vibrations of his voice felt so good against her engorged lips. “I should have taken care of myself before I got on that plane. I swear, this is enough to send me over the edge.”

  She pressed her eyes shut and let her body take the lead. Perspiration misted her skin, making the air feel cool against her breasts and neck. All of her earlier fears and inhibitions vanished when his lips and tongue found their rhythm. Oh yes. That was… She gripped his short hair and tugged. Had she imagined this? Pulling him to her?

  The cold chills…her overheated body…the way Kyle feasted on her. She was so hot for him…hot for her release… Her knees involuntarily tightened around his head. “Just like that—”

  Her sharp pant and the tightening in her belly let her know she was close. Her head thrashed side to side, the world spinning, shifting, narrowing to one perfect spot where his mouth met her sex. She felt the contour of his skull under her fingertips. Gripped him tighter. Loved him in this moment, loved what he was doing to her.

  She cried out, so loud she sounded in pain. She couldn’t help it. Couldn’t be quiet when the tension he’d built in her body finally snapped, and the ripples of sensation became a torrent, gripping her soul, squeezing her, making her hold on to the only solid thing she could find.

  Kyle’s dick was so hard it hurt even pressing against his jeans. He rested his cheek on Rayna’s thigh. He knew now wasn’t the right time to tell her he loved her, but damn if he didn’t. This woman owned him.

  He stayed still, letting her breathing slow as he drank her in. If he could feasibly leave her scent on his face for the rest of his life, he would.

  After another minute, she stirred. “How can you be so much better than my vibrator? I thought I was a pro.”

  He laughed and lifted his head, as proud as if he’d just been awarded the Olympic gold medal in oral sex. “Maybe it’s nice just to relax and let somebody else do the work. Not that I’d call that work.”

  She rolled her hips like her pussy needed more attention or she was turned on by the idea of him servicing her needs. He’d known from their video dates that once Ray got started, she was in it for the long haul. The first orgasm just got her warmed up for the next.

  Smiling, he stalked up her body and kissed her supple lips while his fingers found her pussy. Oh man. She was even wetter now after her release and swollen so tight he’d probably make a fool of himself by coming too soon. No, he had to make her lose it so many times she wouldn’t care what happened later.

  “So you were saying…” He sank his thumb into her and with his fingers found her clit. “You like having me here in the flesh? I was worried maybe you had an Internet sex fetish or something.” He failed to hold back his snicker.

  Rayna’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah, I guess this is okay.” As he stroked her, her head fell back and she moaned. “So…why did you wait so long to visit?”

  He would have come weeks ago, but when he’d broached the subject, he could see she wasn’t ready. Judging from the feel of her under his hand, she was certainly ready now. He kissed her again, ignoring his dick’s cries for mercy and simply trying to savor his time with her. Her lips were so plump and soft. Everything about her was soft. He wanted to rub himself over every square inch of her body. “I’m not gonna deny I wanted to, but there was no way I was going to rush you and chance ruining what we have. You’re—” He stopped himself from finishing.

  If he told her she was everything to him, he might scare her away. She didn’t live cut off from the world because she was good at intimacy. And with his tr
ack record—neither was he. He’d never experienced anything so real or so deep in his life. He’d never let his guard down before. Would she still want him when he told her the truth…that his life was more complicated than he’d led her to believe? It would sever him at the knees if she decided he wasn’t worth the risk.

  Her hands roamed over his shoulders and then down his back, to the hem of his brown sweater. “Take this off, will you?”

  He’d been so focused on her, he’d almost forgotten he was still completely clothed. “I’d have to move my hand… And it’s happy where it is.” To illustrate his point, he rocked his fingers against her clit then plunged his thumb deeper, buried it to the knuckle. Her inner walls clutched at him, milking him in small, grasping contractions.

  “Oh shii….” She swallowed a gasp, and her fingers covered his, moving him the way she liked it. Then after a minute of grinding against him, her grip tightened, forcing his hand away. “Take off your sweater, Kyle. I get to play now.”

  “No way.” If she touched him, he was going off like a rocket. He had a quick recovery time, but he didn’t want her first memory of their lovemaking to be him going off before the gun. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

  “Oh really?” She rose to her knees beside him and coaxed him up with her, smiling devilishly like she thought he was just baiting her. “I bet I can get it off you.”

  She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, naked and on her knees in front of him. Her brown hair fell down around her breasts, brushing the tips of her tight peaks, not quite long enough to cover them. When her small hand came to his abdomen, his cock gave a jerk, twitching against the rough outline of his jeans.

  He preempted Rayna’s attack by gripping one large breast in his hand and bending to suckle it. Her skin was the texture of the rosebuds in his family’s garden, and she smelled even sweeter. She gasped when he drew her nipple deep into his mouth, and her own hand slipped between her legs, massaging her tiny little bundle of nerves until she moaned aloud. Shit, watching her finger her clit wasn’t helping his self-control at all.